High School Hop

David was lucky to get a spot at a progressive new neighborhood high school, Millennium Brooklyn. Since it was a screened admission, he had to write a one-page essay, have an 85+ average and no more than 10 combined latnesses and absences. Then there were 2 interviews as well. I'm really proud he did well on all of the above. MBHS was the school the DOE chose from him as well, out of our top 3 choices (Essex and the Academy of Software and Engineering were the other two). He also got into Brooklyn Prospect, a local charter school, but we felt that MBHS was a better fit. They seemed to "get" him, are very approachable and are no strangers to an IEP. They don't just give lip service to LDs; they have an AP in charge of Special Ed.

It was a bit of a rocky start, which I attribute to David's body getting used to being back on his meds (he takes a break from them during the summer because they can affect growth). He was emotionally up and down by Wednesday, the 3rd day of school/meds, and had a mini meltdown at night. By Thursday morning, he was better, realizing that the things he was saying (about not being able to make friends when he was on his meds, not being funny on them, etc.) weren't true. He seems to have adjusted well to school, has a few friends and looks to be holding his own. We're guardedly optimistic. He doesn't like when we ask if he's done his homework--feels that we don't trust him or believe in him. But with his issues, he easily spaces out and needs to be reminded.

Parent-teacher conferences are next week and we get a progress report on Tuesday, so we'll have a better idea then. But all in all, we're happy with the school, although we think he can put more time and effort into his homework. That was a problem for him at MMFS as well, doing just enough but not more than he needed to do. Hopefully, we can convince him to change his work ethic, which will help him later on in life as well.

Kvelling

Last night, I was the picture of the Yiddish term kvelling, which means "swelling with pride." David had me kvelling when he took part in the monthly open-mic poetry reading during Ken Siegelman's Brooklyn Poetry Outreach at the Park Slope Barnes & Noble. Not only was he the first up but he was the only child to partake. He read in a clear, steady voice, enunciating perfectly (could have been a tad louder, though). No one could have known that only six years earlier he could barely read, let alone read aloud to a group of about 50, unfazed. He was fabulous! David read two poems that he'd written for school, "Julianna" and "The Helpful Power." The response was wonderful. I was just beaming with pride and so was Peter, who also read. I'd been taking part in these open-mic nights for months, reading excerpts from my ebook THE EL as well as poetry, but last night was indeed special.

It's the loving care and patience of all of the teachers at Mary McDowell Friends School that brought us to this happy moment. There is no way to thank them.

High School Quest

The High School quest is nearing its end. Last autumn was a flurry of open houses, visits, carefully scanning school websites online, sharing info with other parents, etc. It was a truly maddening process full of question and self-doubt. Now that David has the wonderful foundation that the Mary McDowell Friends School has built for him since third grade (i.e. teaching him how to read), it feels that it's time to move on.

Exploring all possibilities means looking at "appropriate" (read that "small and nurturing") public schools, supportive private schools and even special education schools just as backup just in case Option # 1 or # 2 don't work out. All of the schools on our final list seem wonderful, for different reasons, and now comes the task of choosing the right school. Or in the DOE's case, hoping they choose the right school for us.

All public schools have to say in their descriptions that they support their students' IEPs (they have to legally) but the question is, do they truly. A school like Edward R. Murrow has a wonderful reputation but has 4,000+ students, overwhelming for a student like David who has only 100 in his middle school. I can picture him getting lost between classes, not to mention floundering and being horribly distracted in classes with 35 students. Plus he is a bit small for his age, so I worry about bullying as well. That left us with a handful of choices.

He did well on the TACHs test, for Catholic school admission. There are 2 schools in particular (Xaverian and Bishop Ford) which have programs for kids with special needs. And coming from a private LD school, the tuitions seem reasonable, even affordable.

There's also an excellent school, Bay Ridge Prep, with two special programs with varying degrees of support.

           David en route to his half day test drive at Bay Ridge Prep.

Then there's that impressive charter school within walking distance, Brooklyn Prospect. But entry is on a lottery system. So, we won't know until April if our name is picked. We've also been out of town for any open houses they have and they claim they don't have the staff to do a school tour during the day. But they do give tours in May for accepted students, which might be too little, too late. But still, David has several friends who go to the middle school and really like it. But again, none of them have IEPs.

What would be the right fit? We're covering all bases, testing the waters all around. Ultimately, David (and we) would love to be in a bigger school, a "regular" school. We are hoping we get one of our top 2 choices of public schools. Whittled down from a list of 6 that we visited, and about twice that number that were in the running.

Our fingers are crossed. I'll post a more complete list of the schools we visited and feedback about each after we've made our choice.

Update

I thought I should check in after more than a year. It's been a busy one. David is in 8th grade and we've been thinking "high school" for many months. At the end of the last school year, we met with the heads of his current school to see if David might be ready for mainstreaming. He'd been doing very well in MMFS and we felt he was ready. They concurred--but in right school, small with a supportive, nurturing environment.

Thus began our quest, school tours (public, private, Catholic) and a few special eds, just for backup. Unfortunately, there's no way to see if he can handle it without throwing him into the deep end of the pool. As for public schools, it was a short list. He's been in classes with 12 students for the past 6 years, and groups of 2-5 for core subjects like Literacy and Math. The usual public school class size if 30-35. We focused on schools with 20-25 students, which will be a big jump for David but he thinks he can handle it. He's also ready for a bigger school.

We also liked Bay Ridge Prep, which has a "regular" sector, the Achieve program with a bit of support and the Bridge Program with even more support. They have a great curriculum, small class size and cool after school clubs like guitar-building. It has a great feel and I think David would fit in well.

Bishop Ford, a Catholic high school in Park Slope, has the Trinity program, which is basically resource room for all 4 years, where students receive help in whatever they need. Another excellent Catholic school is Xaverian High School, in Bay Ridge, which is heavy on sports and has a special ed program called Ryken, in addition to one that offers small class size the freshman year (the Equity Program) before putting students into regular-sized classes for the rest of their high school career.

Then there's Brooklyn Prospect, a Charter school in Kensington, which operates on a lottery system. "Kind of like The Hunger Games," my husband quipped. So, we applied for that too.

Also on the table are the Churchill School and MMFS's Upper School, which is extremely impressive but the jury is still out on whether David needs that much support. If nothing else works out, we can hopefully have these as backups.

It's an extremely scary decision to have to make. Much tougher than college, I think. At least with college, there are more choices and many different types/styles of learning institutions. I was really a basket case with worry in the beginning, concerned that I would "miss" applying to the perfect school for David, that something would fall between the cracks, despite my best efforts. I tried to keep in mind what the admissions person said at one school: "Your child will end up where they need to be."

We'll see. Just 3 of the thousands of schools (I almost hyperventilated during the High School Fair in September) fit the bill for us. Fingers are crossed.

Bi-Yearly Checkin

I noticed it's been almost 6 months since my last posting. I guess that's a sign that things are going well. David continues to improve at Mary McDowell Friends School and is almost performing at grade level. Albeit with tons of support, cues, and in a class of 12 with 2 teachers - plus much smaller groups for reading and math. The tuition is huge (almost as much as an Ivy League college costs) but it's worth every penny. He is confident, fun and empathetic, and also tries to get by doing as little work as possible. I'm not sure if this is because of his LD or just genetic. (One of his parents used to own a T-shirt that said, "Underachiever and proud of it." Hint: It wasn't me.)

David did well on his standardized tests with extra time and split between several days instead of over several hours like his non-LD classmates. He finished 6th grade with good reports and smiles. We had a wonderful summer mostly upstate, med-free. Lots of reminders about finishing the 2 books and accompanying 2 book reports he was assigned. But they got done, a little carelessly, but that's the nature of his beast, especially medication-free.

7th grade got off to a decent start almost 2 weeks ago. It marked the first time he would be commuting regularly to and from school via the train. (Although he did it a couple of times last year when the bus was really late or delayed by weather.) After pizza with his buds the first day, he ended up getting on the G train in the wrong direction but realized it at the first stop, jumped off and asked a cop how to get to his home stop. Got home safe and sound but lost his sneakers (long story). Has managed to keep track of his cell phone and train pass. And also learned that school transit passes still work after being washed.

Peter and I had our annual dance with the DOE and had to view the "appropriate" placement they found for him in a local school, the Secondary School for Law, which is housed in the John Jay High School complex. The metal detector was a nice touch. As was noticing 3 wall clocks during our visit, all with completely wrong times displayed--especially helpful for kids with LDs who don't know what time it is anyway. The 12:1:1 class had only 5 students. The 3 present were totally unengaged, despite the personal attention and efforts of their young, hip teachers (tattoo & nasal jewelry). The windows were thrown open to 7th Avenue's loud bus traffic and even adults without concentration issues had trouble following. Wrong on so many levels, and again, the sadness for the kids with no other alternative.

         Us three, this past summer.

Who knows what this year will bring for David. He is taking great joy in books, something I never expected. A trip to his prescribing doctor will tell if he needs a medication adjustment, which I assume he does because he's grown over the summer. MMFS staff has already noticed a bit of inattentiveness and is going to put him on a therapeutic listening program. Stay tuned!

Up to Speed

When I started this blog, I intended it to mainly be an information source for other parents of LD kids rather than a blow-by-blow description of our daily lives. But I cringe when I realized that I hadn't made an entry since last July. Here's my shot at a quick incapsulation of our lives since the summer. We traveled to Alaska the first two weeks of August, upholding David's request to visit a different national park every vacation. It was an incredible educational experience between the expansive parks, wildlife and incredible salmon fishing where David landed several whoppers and caught our lunch/dinner. His transition to middle school at the newly-renamed Mary McDowell Friends School went well, with a few bumps in the road in the beginning. There was a lot more homework (at least in the beginning) which he dragged out and made even longer. Things seem to have evened out. He's had two good parent-teacher conferences since then but still manages to be a master procrastinator, just like his dad. David seems to like having more responsibility and we are determined not to remind him a dozen times about his homework, leaving it to him to get it done. As per MMFS, we don't check it but he seems to do okay, has only had a few "re-do's" and even a few "check plusses." Our CES meeting with the DOE in the beginning of March went well, we think, though the psychologist seemed a bit testy with David's teacher, who kept reminding her that just because a child with LDs is in a better setting doesn't mean that the LD goes away completely. His reading and math have greatly improved but are still below grade level. We'll see when we get the IEP in the mail. And we recently heard that the DOE settled with us before going to impartial hearing, for a bit more than last year, which is great because the tuition went up, as it does every year. But I can't imagine David being in a public school setting because those programs are sorely lacking. In September, I visited the Brooklyn School for Global Studies where they found a spot for David, sending me this letter at the end of June, when there was no time to view the school. So I had to write a letter, as I do every year, explaining that I would be happy to look at the placement school...in September when school is in session. Of course, it was abysmal, on so many levels. I'm sure they will send an "appropriate placement" for next year which will be grossly inadequate. We recently had a checkup with David's behavioral specialist (the one who prescribes the meds) and she was very impressed at how much he has progressed, even over the past year. He scored higher on tests she administered and his curve has been even greater since he first started coming to her 3 years ago. Dr. V talked about some of her patients in 12:1:1 programs in public schools, how they have issues with bullies and how terrible the classes are. And how lucky we are to have a space in MMFS. I am thankful for this every day. As a person, David continues to develop into his own unique self. Still very into video games and role playing games. He has a great sense of humor and enjoys looking at funny vids online, especially involving animals. Some days he says he wants to be a zoologist, others a video game maker, others a psychologist. He doesn't seem to want to get rid of his toys, though he barely plays with them--just the dragons, weapons, and action figures. I know someday soon, he'll want to get rid of the kid stuff. Something I both look forward to and dread. He even took the train to school alone a few times. I worked him up from walking there while we took the same train to taking the train himself (after walking him to the station) when the bus was really late. Next year, I think we'll transition him into commuting himself. It's only 5 stops and about 4 blocks, a walk he knows well. My, how he has grown...

David ready to take the train alone to school for the first time in September 2011. No more "short bus."

Reading in Bed

Last night, David and I were reading in bed. A sight I never, ever thought I'd see. Well, we'd also gotten an air conditioner in the trailer upstate, another sight I never thought I'd see, but we relented to the horrible heat wave and put one in our living room/kitchen. So David and I were camping out on the uncomfortable sofabed. I glanced over at him, above my book and there he was, reading a "Smokey the Bear" comic book he'd gotten many years earlier on a trip to New Mexico. He smiled at me and gleefully said, "Let's read our chapter books," and picked up Bunnicula (which is on his summer reading homework) while I reached for "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." It was a great moment. One I never thought I'd see pre-Mary McDowell.

So, never lose hope...