The long and winding road to educating David

A short time ago, a friend asked if I wouldn't mind speaking with her sister, who had a child with a different learning style and was about to embark upon the long, difficult journey of trying to get the New York City Department of Education to educate her son. I was happy to and in the end, sent her some helpful hints which I compiled from my "Useful Numbers" and "Tracking Document" (which currently was 14 pages in length) to both help her learn what to expect and what she needed to do in the coming months to get Ruben what he needed.

Not two weeks after, I ran into a mom from David's former school, who asked if I could prep her and share with her what I'd experienced to help her daughter secure a spot in a school that better suited her needs.

I am in no way an expert or a professional. I am just a mom who set out on a quest to get her son educated in a way that worked for him. I had no clue what an IEP was. Or how to get an IAP. Or how to ensure that David received the "free and appropriate education" that he was promised, that was his right. But little by little, I learned. I'm happy to share it with you and hope that it helps.


Helpful Hints

I hope you find the information below helpful. I pieced it together from various tracking documents I’ve kept during our long, hard battle with the Department of Education to educate our dyslexic son David.

IAPs:
Jeanine Pollack, independent IAP/neuropsychologyst, Neuropsychological Arts, 26 Court Street, Bklyn, NY 11201, 718-237-2333, ext 11, a private evaluation is done over two full days and she writes a detailed (ours was 27 pages) report. Janine is great, very gentle, personable and capable.

The NYU Child Study Center, 212-263-6622, also does evaluations, shorter waiting time. http://www.aboutourkids.org/

Attorneys:Neal Rosenberg, 9 Murray Street, Suite 4W, NY 10007. 212-732-9450, one of the top 2 attorneys whose offices solely handle disputes against the Dept of Education. (The other is Regina Skyler, who specializes in autism) Neal gives a free consultation. After you sign with him, a certain amount is due and you have to keep suing the Dept of Ed each year. The team in Neal's office works together, they're all very capable, very accessible and supportive, real pros.

Schools:
The 4 schools that are Bd of Ed funded (they take $$ directly from Bd of Ed):
Churchill (E 29th, NYC)
Lowell (Queens)
Community School (Teaneck, NJ)
Gateway (W 61st St, NYC)

Open houses at various schools start as early as October for the following year. When you file admissions application there’s an application fee, usually between $50 and $100. You also need to provide copies of various school reports. I would contact a school at any time of the year, though, as people move out of state, change jobs, school status changes and openings can occur.

I’ve visited two of the above during open houses in early 2007. They are:

Churchill School, 301 East 29th Street, 212-722-0610, http://www.churchillschool.com/
I loved Churchill. We sent in an application but they said David didn't meet their profile. They said he has the skills but couldn't access them. (But isn't that exactly the type a child this sort of school would benefit?) Anyway, it has a big, beautiful campus, each floor was color-coded so students wouldn’t get lost (people who reverse numbers and letters often have a hard time figuring out what floor they’re on…2, 3, 5…all look the same.) Churchill goes from grade K-12.

The Gateway School, 211 West 61st Street, 6th floor New York, New York 10023 , 212-777-5966
http://www.gatewayschool.org/
Gateway was the first school I looked at and I didn’t like it. (However, I looked at it when it was located on Second Avenue, between 14th & 15th Street, so things could have changed since then.) In retrospect, I think I was shell-shocked that my child wasn't "normal" and might actually need a place like this. Maybe I was a bit judgmental and wasn't looking at the school with an open mind. Or maybe it was the icky parents at the open house who were most impressed with the school because of the beautiful renovation! I just wanted to find a place that would teach my kid to read. A good deal of the students seemed to have sensory issues; they called an assembly so we could see the student population, which wasn’t very ethnically diverse.

Private Schools:The Sterling School, 299 Pacific Street, Brooklyn NY 11201, 718-625-3502, http://www.sterlingschool.com/
Ruth Arberman started the school seven years ago for dyslexic son who’s now in 11th grade. She also teaches there and runs the whole shebang. The staff is Orton Gillingham-trained in multisensory educational tactics, a very successful reading program for kids with dyslexia and other language-based learning disabilities. The first time I called, Ruth spoke to me for an hour or more. She's a dynamo, full of information, extremely knowledgeable and very willing to help anyone who has a child with LD's. The school is tiny, in the ground floor of a brownstone, with less than 30 students. David was accepted here but we decided to go with a larger school with more on-site amenities (like OT, a gym). It was a difficult decision because Ruth is such an incredible woman.

And finally, David's school:
The Mary McDowell Center for Learning, 20 Bergen Street (lower elementary), 135 Summit Street (middle school), 23 Sidney Place (upper school), Brooklyn, NY, 11201, 718-625-3939- main number, Susan Krim, admissions. http://marymcdowell.org/
An independent Friends school for children with learning disabilities, has a little more than 200 students total in grades pre-k to 10 (they are adding a grade a year in high school, so in 2013 they will have 12 grades), the staff is very supportive, understanding and caring, and really wants your child to succeed. At parent-teacher conferences, the focus is on what your child does right, not what they do wrong. They follow the Quaker tenets of acceptance, community and fellowship, and also practice group moments of silence. It truly feels like family.

Important tip:
Keep a written record/tracking document with dates of meetings, what was discussed, what changes were implemented, etc., just in case you have to sue the Dept of Ed in the future. It’s more ammunition for you since they are shoddy with their record-keeping and the burden of proof rests with them, not you. In other words, they have to prove that they are providing your child with a “free and appropriate education” (their catch phrase).

Also, when a change is implemented by the Dept of Ed/your child's current school, it must be in place for 30 days to determine whether or not the new tactic is working. But hold them to the time frame (they easily lose track and often things fall between the cracks). If you’re not happy with the results, tell them so and ask for something else to be implemented.

Hang tough and be a persistent. It’s a long, hard road but well worth it in the end. Good luck!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hermit Crab = Happiness

Who would have thought that a little $3.88 hermit crab with make David so happy. He's been campaigning for a pet for some time now, and finally Peter and I gave in. We travel a lot, split our time between here and upstate, and the pet needed to be something portable, durable and yet would teach David the responsibilities of caring for and feeding another living creature.

He came home from school yesterday on a mission, once again, stating his pet case, this time pushing for a hermit crab. Peter and I looked at each other and smiled, then laid down some rules. He'd have to buy it (and the cage, etc) with his own money, care for it, feed it, etc. As soon as Peter left for work, David and I walked down to 5th Avenue to Petland Discounts. David picked Stripes himself, chose the cage and the other stuff. He peeled the money out of his wallet and was walking on air on the way home.

Who would have thought a pet would also get him reading! Not only did he Google hermit crabs and find out what they eat on Ask.com but he also wisely purchased a book about hermit crabs from the pet store. Then sat down to read it, amazing me with the things he remembered. He's already talking about getting another one and a bigger cage. I've gotten him to wait a week to see how he fares with Stripes.

Stripes, by the way, is one weird looking crab. His shell looks like a bored pet store employee painted it with bright colors. David says we have to get another larger shell for when Stripes grows out of his current one. Also was on a mission to get a mister and learned how to use (well, tried, lefty challenged that he is) to use a potato peeler to give Stripes carrot bits, cut a grape in half and is dreaming up other snacks for his new pet. His first non vegetable pet. His other pet was a Venus fly trap who died from neglect. Hopefully Stripes will fare better.

Why do I see a puppy in our future?!

Monday, April 12, 2010

David @ 10

This poem I recently wrote pretty much sums up what a (mostly) joy David is at 10. I am convinced he would be a whole different David if MMCL wasn't part of our lives:


David @ 10
is a shock of puppy-brown hair,
big eyes honest, green-blue,
wraps strong, spindly arms
around my neck in hello.
I look forward to meeting
the man you will become,
to watching your story unravel
before me like a good book.
For now, I am busy loving
David @ 10,
content with holding the hand
that still reaches for mine
when we cross the street,
happy snuggling on top of the covers
as we read each night,
savoring your tired kiss on my cheek,
and your unguarded laugh
like unexpected gifts
before they disappear
because David won't be 10
forever.

When I read it to him, he beamed the whole time, then said "Thanks, Mom" an flug his arms around my neck. Makes all of the above (negotiating with the DOE, etc.) well worth it. And then some.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Worst Blogger Ever

Yes, I must be the worst, most remiss blogger ever. It's been December since my last post. Maybe a sign that things have been going smoothly.

David's reading has improved by leaps and bounds and sometimes he just does it for fun, reading us Garfield excerpts he finds particularly hilarious. His spelling, however, remains dismal, and tackles it phonetically, which remains his weak point.

We had a good meeting with the DOE yesterday to build David's IEP for the 2010-2011 school year. David's teacher was on the phone, very honest about his achievements and weak spots. We will probably still have to look at a placement or two in public school but in our experience, these are sadly, and sorely, lacking. Especially middle schools, where he hopefully will be going this September. But I felt the team was very supportive, looking out for the best for David. It was a relief and a pleasure.

Unfortunately, there was no record of the auditory processing testing the DOE gave him last summer, forcing us to stay city-side in late July. Luckily, I keep good notes about who I spoke with/met with, when, why and the results. I was told verbally in August that there was no change to his IEP, which means he didn't need support for auditory issues. A minor inconvenience if he has to be retested.

We will continue to work with David on his spelling and typing, which might make his writing easier. But in all, I feel we've passed over a hurdle, which is incredible.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Breakthrough

Two postings in three days? Unprecidented. Something else is unprecidented, something I thought I'd never see or hear.

A few days ago, David asked me to get him a book: "So I have something to read on the schoolbus?" Something to read? Reading for the sheer joy, the sheer pleasure? That's something I thought I'd never hear from my son. I tried to contain my joy but had tears in my eyes when I told him that I'd try to get him "Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Part 2," as per his request.

It was waiting for him Monday afternoon when he got home from school and he immediately started reading it. And when he came down for breakfast the next morning, he took it with him. As someone who has a child with LDs, you know the significance of this. David might never be a fast reader but I never thought he'd be a willing reader.

Tuesday morning he asked if I was sad that he wasn't reading "Wimpy Kid" with me but on his own. I told him that to the contrary, I was very happy he wanted to read on his own. We would still have our nightly snuggles/reads until he thought he was too old to do so. Right now, it's "The Last Olympian" in the Percy Jackson series, me reading most of it, him reading Percy's dialogue. Generally, it's the highlight of my day. But this reading breakthrough has been the highlight of the year, maybe.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Something to Read...

Could it be that I haven't blogged since last May? I guess that's what happens when your child is getting what they need. Somewhere in the middle of the summer, Peter and I realized how well David was reading when we went through our wonderful nightly ritual of reading together. Before we knew it, we'd gone through 4 novels in the Percy Jackson series, with David reading Percy's quotes with expression and interest.

Our parent/teacher conference this month was a joy instead of dreadful. David's new teachers talked about what a pleasure he was to have in their class, how he contributed thoughtfully to discussions and how creating "The Medieval Times," modeled after "The New York Times" was his idea. This prompted a visit to the Brooklyn Daily Eagle to learn how it was done, crafting their own paper, then hand-delivering it to each classroom before Thanksgiving break. David is reading even closer to grade level, almost 4th grade for our 5th grader.

And this morning, he asked me for "something to read..." on the school bus ride to work. Something to read! I never thought I'd hear that request, that he'd rather read than stare off into space.

Our impartial hearing with the DOE is scheduled for February 2 but I don't approach that with dread either. I hope it will be cancelled and a settlement reached beforehand as it has been for the prior 2 years, even in this awful economy. We had to look at one of their 12:1:1 classes at PS 29, which was so sad and dreadful, kids milling around without much guidance, a holding tank of sorts. The regular teacher was out and some poor para was trying to hold down the fort. Why would they still tell me to come if the teacher was out and they couldn't put their best foot forward? Once again, I was incredibly thankful for MMCL, that my son can flourish instead of flounder.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Milestone - Dav Part Saterday

We hit a milestone today. Not only did David remember to give us a phone message but he wrote it down. On his own. Without anyone telling him to. Legibly. It's the first time he's ever done this. I almost cried. Even though we can't make our friend Dave's party on Saturday (the message). Happy Mother's Day to me.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Midnight Confession

I still feel like I did as a kid, confessing to the priest how long it's been since my last confession. That's how negligent I've been with this blog. It was basically intended as an information source for other parents but I find that when things are going well, I don't blog. I am sort of guiltily posting now because one of David's teachers might take a look. Hi, Bari!

Things have been going pretty smoothly. David is nicely settled into school, after a slight medication adjustment. He's been growing and gaining weight so 15 mg just wasn't cutting it. Also, the rude awakening that there is actually more writing and more work when you reach the 4th grade has sunk in. I explain to him that in a public school, he would be really lost in the shuffle and they wouldn't meet his needs, let alone have yard time to unwind twice a day.

His reading and writing has come along, though he will still try to get away with writing the shortest sentences humanly possible. I was reminded at how behind he actually is when I read some essays (2 pagers!) that a 4th grade class at his old school wrote after interviewing Peter in the classroom. David would have panicked at the mere thought. His "memoir" was a brief paragraph lacking detail and he is currently (painfully) trying to flesh it out in class. Putting things into written word is a mountainous task for a dyslexic; he has to approach it in small baby steps which are huge to us.

David continues to have problems grasping abstract concepts or ideas--had a problem understanding what "predict" meant or "racism" or "descrimination." Maybe because they're not concrete things you can see and touch or hear. It's interesting how his mind works and how his thought processes transpire. If he hears something, like in "Monsters vs Aliens," he remembers it word for word, even if he heard it only once. I can't. But if he reads something, it takes longer to sink in.

He loves tactile learning, making a hurricane in a water bottle, e.g. Loves traveling and recently requested that we take another trip to a National Park like Yellowstone. With this in mind, we're going to Yosemite in July and he's already planning to buy an animal identification chart to make note of what he sees.

Our CSE meeting yesterday with the DOE was postponed indefinitely. It isn't as dreadful as we'd imagined, sitting down with a roomful of surprisingly caring people who flesh out his educational objectives and try to ensure he's getting what he needs, even in a private school. Though they can't say, there's no way he'd get even a smidgen of this sort of care or smart approach to teaching kids with LDs in a public school. And that's kind of sad.