Old Friends, Bookends

I can't believe how much I've neglected this blog and have long I haven't updated it. I guess it's like an old friend, someone/thing you take for granted, don't in on, until you need it.

I suppose my neglect is a good reflection of how smoothly things are going for David and MMCL. And with getting reimbursed by the BOE. In November, we went in to the CSE office so I can update our family history with caseworker Charlie Rubino, possibly one of the nicest guys on the planet. You can tell he really cares about kids and getting them what they need and his work. While I did that, poor David had a barrage of tests so that he'd be up to date. Even though we still had more than a year for his tri-annual neuropsych exam. Six tests in the space of two hours and the poor kid was spent. He was more upset about missing school than anything else. A rainbow sherbert sets him right. (Look mom, there's milk in it!, he tells me, reading the sign, when I tell him it's filled with junky sugar. I'm happy and shocked he's begun to spontaneously read signs without being forced.)

We were finally reimbursed for the 2007-2008 school year in October of 2008, about 5 months after we signed the stipulation agreement letter. By that time, we'd already halfway paid for the 2008-2009 school year and were many grand in the hole. We paid our attorneys for this year promptly with part of the funds and they started trying to recoup funds on the current school year right away. A few offers bandied back and forth and in December, we agreed on a number, signed the stip forms. The end of January, all the forms will be submitted, so with any luck, we'll be reimbursed around April, when the 2009-2010 tuition payments will start.

I remember how we felt 2 years ago, when David was accepted to MMCL. A combination of euphoria (he's finally getting what he needs) and terror (but how the heck are we going to pay for it?!) Basically, almost all of the salary from my p/t job goes to pay for it. But we consider ourselves lucky. I couldn't imagine the alternative: David in a public school, lost in the shuffle, still saying he's the worst kid in the world because he can't read and really down on himself.

So, all goes smoothly at Casa Brown. Because when the little guy's happy, we're all happy.

The Lazy Blogger

Okay, I admit it, it's been eons since I blogged. It's been a busy few months, back to school (though David is so, freaking happy at MMCL, it's hard to believe), birthdays (his and mine), a nasty virus (his...poor tyke was sick as a pup and sobbed when he was a day away from going back to school because he missed his friends and his teachers), work, and life in general.

Lots has gone on, including reimbursement (partial) from the DOE, not 45 days after we signed the settlement papers but more like 90 days. But we're grateful, both for the funds and for how David is progressing in school. David was reluctant about taking the bus to school but by Day 2, had a bus buddy. The driver and matron, Pat & Pat, are excellent and caring. His commute isn't too long and I can still get to work on time after he's picked up.

We had a bit of back and forth with the DOE about getting David's tri-annual neuropsych exam. I didn't want this kid to be tested and retested unnecessarily like he was in the past (i.e. every time a school psychologist left, the new one wanted to retest because they didn't like the way the previous psychologist did her job!). I pointed out that we paid handsomely for a very comprehensive exam (27 pages of results) in March 2006 which was only about 18 months ago. I almost won but they wanted an updated family history and t0 update other tests that were more than 6 months old. It should be "nothing with nothing" but I am still mildly paralyzed by the thought of any meeting with the DOE. It's set for 9 am on Nov. 3, so David will once again, miss more time at school. But hopefully, he'll be able to show up for part of the day on Monday.

A really pleasant experience was being invited to a dinner reception to welcome the NYSAIS (New York State Association of Independent Schools) Council to MMCL. Every 10 year, independent schools like MMCL are asked to write a mission statement about what they strive to give students (MMCL's was 130 pages long) and representatives from other independent schools, both general ed and special ed, spend 3 days at the school, observing and meeting and evaluating. It was an honor to be selected to be representative of the parent body at MMCL, and also to be able to interact with these caring, committed educators, tell them what a wonderful place MMCL is and in turn, do something good for MMCL who is doing something so extraordinary for us.

Summer Fun...Back to Reality

It's been a great summer, telecommuniting for the most part from our cabin (read that, trailer) upstate. David spent 8 weeks in a day camp, which he loved, running around like a colt with other colts his age. The one day we were experimenting with his meds (read that, not giving them to him) and after 3 weeks of being in camp, it was the only day his counselor gave us a complaint about him. "Has problems following instruction...focusing...can't seem to control his body..." the old mantra. Although David is very focussed on the Focalin--maybe too intense for play and perfect for schoolwork--it cuts his appetite to nil until they wear off at about 5 in the afternoon. He started looking very skinny at the beginning of the summer, then I put him on a high fat diet. Haagen Dazs, whole milk, the very opposite of what I eat. He seemed to fill out a bit. By end of August, he polished off a 1 1/4 lb lobster for our anniversary dinner.

More than three months after our IEP meeting in April, we finally received an invite from the Department of Education for David to attend a 12:1:1 class in our district. I can't imagine the trauma of him actually going to another school just a year after settling in so nicely at MMCL but we will give it a look.

Good news is, his IEP was changed to full services which means we also get bus transportation to and from school. Bad news--they were going to send him to the wrong school, The Churchill School, on the wrong day, a full week before classes started at MMCL. After probably dozens of phone calls from me and one of MMCL's many saints, it was straightened out. Now we won't have to brave rude rush hour crowds who push him around like a pinball, jockey for position, or have to begin our days by observing a pitiful homeless woman clad only in filthy mens' underwear in the middle of November.

School starts on the 10th and we are already off to a good start!

Thinking dyslexic

David: "It's warm outside. I should have worn my small pants."
Me: "Small pants?"
David: "Yeah, the small ones."
Me: "You mean pants that don't fit anymore?"
David: "No, the ones you told me to wear first."

Shorts...he meant shorts. In his mind, shorts are "small pants." Not Barbie doll small pants but pants that are small than the usual pants. Shorts.

Sometimes dyslexia seems like kiddie Altzheimers where you have to try and figure out what they mean. Dyslexics forget words for simple things like "shorts" and the names of people they see every other day or have known for years. But they don't forget minute details, like the exact lines of dialogue from Will Ferrell's "Space" parody of Harry Caray. Go figure.

But it's a parent's job to go figure. It's kind of scary when these bizarre connections begin to make sense to you. And somewhat cool when you can figure out the puzzle-like way their mind works, and in a sense, translate the world for them, until they sort out how to do it on their own.

In the matter of David Brown

That's how the front page of the Stipulation of Settlement & Discontinuance reads. It sounds like a polite British parlor play of manners...in the matter of David Brown. What a relief to finally get that letter. What a long, hard trip it's been, wondering if we would ever get there. We are told that we must wait between 45 and 90 days to get reimbursed, but other parents have told us it's been 5 months and counting. But at least we know it's coming. And the best part is, we get to do the same thing next year....and the year after that.

But the real best part is that David is reading. Not at grade level, but with confidence. Not with dread, but with pride. We caught his problem before it did permanent damage to his self-esteem, to his child soul. And to me, that is the real matter of David Brown.

LD Shorthand

When I visit my neglected blog, I feel like I did as a Catholic school kid and had to confess to the priest how long it was since my last confession. Time does fly when you're living life...

Now we've graduated to big, green pills, 15 mg of Focalin. As an eight-year-old grows, so do his drug needs. Seems to be working fine for school but for home, on weekends, 10 mg seems like the trick. After all, he doesn't need to be THAT focussed, just focussed enough so that you don't have to tell him the same thing five times before he listens, and so that he's not invading strangers' personal space on the subway.

Talking to a friend recently, about her pre-k child's issues, I realized that LD parents have a sort of shorthand that other parents probably wouldn't understand. Take LD, for example, for "learning disability." We also, unfortunately know what an IEP is, the CSE and so on. We speak in this clipped sort of shorthand code. Educational ebonics? Another weird observation.

CSE is for me

We had our first CSE (Committee on Special Education) review since David has been out of the public school system that was unable to give him a "free and appropriate education." It was to establish his IEP (Individualized Education Program) for the 2008-2009 school year. (Don't you love all these acronyms?) It seemed to go well and that the Dept was finally able to understand what his needs were and how they weren't being met in the public education system. The team seemed very on the ball, very sympathetic. It's their job to write up a recommendation for the coming school year, and recommend to the Dept the proper educational setting David needs.

One of David's teachers, Elizabeth, was on the phone and gave a very apt description of what David was like in the classroom, how he needs a small setting and often needs to be guided and redirected throughout the day. Basically, the consensus was that he'd be swallowed up in a larger classroom setting, was bright, but would only flourish in a small class with no more than 12 students and 2 teachers. Hmmm, sounds suspiciously like what he has at MMCL. I don't know if the Dept of Ed can duplicate that nurturing, small, specialized type of learning setting but we will soon see what they come up with.

It's a great relief to have that behind us, and we might even, finally, get bus service out of the deal. Maybe it helped seeing me hobble in with a cane and a big Frankenstein surgical shoe after my foot surgery but anything is better than having to drag that poor kid through the rush hour subways and teeming streets at 8 am.

Maybe the Dept of Ed really does want to help kids....