Even better living through big, beige pills

There was a subtle change during the first few days of the new meds but then David quickly reverted to old ways. We then upped the dosage another 5 mg, and the difference was astounding. David received a glowing report from his teachers, was more engaged and involved, even with us. Instead of living "in his head" and having imaginary sword fights with Pokemon characters as we walked to the subway, he actually had conversations with us.

So, we seem to have reached a happy medium for now, but kids grow and change so quickly that it might not last for long. I am still keeping a diary of sorts with things people say, things he says and noting changes in eating habits. Spindly as David is, a major concern we have is the possible loss of appetite side effect. There's a marginal difference in his eating habits--say 2 pancakes in the morning instead of 3--but nothing major.

They also say these meds can affect growth and David's at the lower end of this totem pole as it is. We had experimented with not giving him the meds on weekends or during school vacation but it is a real pleasure to only have to tell him something once instead of three times, and to have him walk instead of running back and forth like a mouse in a wheel. When he skis and has to listen and pay attention to where others are, or when we travel on the train to the museum and he's flopping like a ragdoll all over the seat, I find myself wishing I'd gotten up at 7am to give him his Focalin.

Still no sign of reimbursement from the Dept of Ed and we already had to leave the deposit for next year's school. Still no sign of school bus service and I am due to have foot surgery in April and dread having to travel five days a week with a Frankenstein boot on my foot in rush hour just to escort him back and forth. We got paperwork for his yearly CSE (Committee on Special Education) asking permission to observe David in class...at PS 107. No wonder they couldn't teach him to read; they don't even know what school he's in. Although I corrected the school on the form, I still expect them to show up at the wrong school.

Better living through chemistry?

Although we tried to avoid it for about a year, David went on meds about a week ago to help lasso his impulsivity and distractability. I thought that was what all kids were like, but apparantly not. And not to that degree. To a certain extent, I felt like we'd lost, like we had no choice, like our backs were up against the wall. I had a tough night accepting it, boo-hooing and the whole bit. There's the whole unknown about how a 50 pounder will react to a stimulant like Focalin, even only 5 mg. There are a bunch of nasty side affects like loss of appetite, insomnia, even heart attacks.

So far, so good. No bad side affects, though he does seem more emotional than usual and less able to handle minor disappointments like change of menu (no pizza for dinner) and playdates that didn't materialize. There are minimal behavior changes but nothing drastic. We are getting daily reports from his teacher, who sees subtle changes, but in more challenging subjects, like reading, he seems as distractable as ever. We report to his doctor today and I have a feeling they will up the dosage. I guess he should be somewhere between a Mexican jumping bean and an extra in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."

MMCL has been so good about this, keeping us posted, keeping an eye on him. This all happened so quickly, just 2 days after a meeting with the school psychologist, who, unlike a standard Dept of Ed school psychologist, seemed to know details of his personality intimately, even after his being in the school for only a month. David tries hard to concentrate and sit still but seems unable to. We are hoping we will find the right combo/dosage so that he'll be able to blossom, not be a zombie. I would rather have him bouncing off the walls that be comatose.

It might be my imagination, but he seems to have even more energy with these little blue pills. But maybe it's just the weirdness or exhiliration of taking a medicine when he knows he's not "sick." They make all kinds of allowances for his energy level at MMCL, just so long as he's not disturbing anyone else. He can do his work standing up. He can get up and walk around and take breaks. But apparantly, he's been laying around on the desk and doing other distracting things. We'll see.